All I Want For Christmas
by Darling Pretty
Summary: He'd do anything to make his daughter happy, but how is he supposed to get her the number one thing on her list when the number one thing is a new mommy? Addison/Alex oneshot. AU. Gigi, this one's for you.


**So basically this one's for Gigi. I hope you didn't die during your physics final. I don't know that this is on time, but I would just like to point out that this is a 4,000 plus word oneshot. And that's in two days, with a nice break for Sunday School teaching and actual school in between. So considering this is only a couple of hours off, I think I get a little leeway on this.**

**By the way, EVERYBODY who reads this should go check out LGCoffeeAddict and her stories, for two reasons: number one- she definitely pimped my stories in her own; number two- excellent writing. I think number two is a super excellent reason, but number one isn't too shabby either.**

**So, Merry Christmas, Gigi, and I mean that in a "Here have a present" way. Not in a "LET'S PRAISE THE FRIGGIN' PANTS OFF JESUS!" sort of way. Because praising the pants off Jesus would be weird. And I think I may now be starting to offend some people, so I'm going to stop.**

**I still own nothing.**

* * *

The rain falls lightly, wetting his face as he struggles to put up Christmas lights. If it were up to him, he wouldn't even bother getting a Christmas tree. But his life hasn't been his own for the past seven years. Seven years ago, his daughter was born and now he'll do whatever it takes to make her happy, even if that means stringing up a bunch of obnoxiously colored lights that will eat away at his wallet come bill-paying time.

In all honesty, he hates Christmas. He never celebrated as a kid and he didn't celebrate when he was single. He had only started celebrating when he got serious with Izzie. She had loved Christmas with every fiber of her being. And for the three Christmases they spent together, he had enjoyed it.

Lily was only two when she died, and that is one thing Alex is thankful for. He would much rather take the pain of explaining _why _she doesn't have a mommy on himself than have her remember those last months that were pure pain for everyone.

Still, every Christmas breaks his heart. He doesn't make a lot of money, and he can't really afford to give her everything she wants. So he has a rule. She can put four things on her Christmas list—four things she wants more than anything in the world—and he does his best to make it happen. Even if that means taking extra shifts to afford them. Lily never asks for more than four things, and one thing remains constant year to year. Every year, at the top of her list, she writes in her careful, deliberate way, "I want a new mommy", then asks for three toys. And every year, it never fails to break his heart.

0ooo0

"Alex, I'm going to ask you one more time, and you're going to say yes," Meredith commands through the phone. "We do this every single year… Are you going to come to New Year's?"

He sighs. She's right—they do this dance every single year. She always invites him and Lily to the party she hosts on New Year's, and he always says no. She then proceeds to annoy the hell out of him until he agrees to come. She claims to enjoy his company, but he knows it's just because she wants to get him out of the house. "Fine, we'll be there," he capitulates.

"Thank you," she says triumphantly. "Party starts at six, but you already know that. How's Lily?"

"She's fine," Alex replies. He asks after her multiple progeny, to which she responds that they're all fine. Finally, they hang up.

He hears soft footsteps behind him and turns around to see Lily. "Was that Auntie Meredith?" she asks. He nods. "Was she asking about the New Year's party?" He nods again. She grins, showing off the big gap where she's missing her two front teeth. He tries not to be sad thinking about the fact that Izzie never got to see her lose a baby tooth. "Can we go early? I want my hair in braids, and Auntie Meredith does the _best _braids."

"I'd have to ask. But I can just braid your hair here," he points out.

"No offense, Daddy, but you aren't really good at braiding. I think it's a girl thing."

He laughs a little. "I'll call Mer and ask," he agrees.

She looks at him seriously. "You're missing Mommy, aren't you?" she asks carefully.

He nods slightly. It's the only outward sign of grief he'll let his little girl see. She hugs him. "That's because she loved Christmas too, huh? It's okay, Daddy. Don't worry. We don't have to celebrate too much."

0ooo0

Christmas passes quickly and quietly for the Karev's. Lily gets everything on her Christmas list except the one thing she always wants the most.

He knocks on the door to the Shepherd's house. Meredith opens it quickly and promptly, her hands full with a squealing toddler and two little girls in party dresses vying for her attention. In the midst of it all, she somehow manages to remember which muscles are used to smile. "Hey, Alex. Hey, Lily, come on in."

"Hi, Auntie Meredith," Lily says. "If it's not too much trouble, Daddy said you said you would braid my hair."

Meredith grins at Alex, then at Lily. "Of course it's not too much trouble! Just let me go put Luke down and I'll get the scrunchies."

"Thank you!" Lily exclaims. She begins talking and giggling with Morgan and Taylor.

Alex starts to wander out back, where he knows Derek will be barbequing something, weather be damned. On his way out the back door, he nearly knocks down a woman he doesn't recognize. He's pretty shocked; usually he and Lily are the first ones to this party, since Lily knows she can get her hair braided and that's not something to be missed. "Oh, uh, sorry," he says, trying to form a coherent sentence while taking in her red hair and regal bearing.

"Don't worry about it," she smiles. He notices that the corners of her cobalt eyes crinkle when she does, warming a formality to something much more personal. "I'm Addison Montgomery. I went to med school with Derek."

"Alex Karev," he replies. He doesn't explain how he knows Meredith—mentioning his dead wife in the first two minutes of conversation is _such _a downer.

"It's nice to meet you. You're here early," she comments, just making small talk.

Inwardly, he frowns—explaining why he's here so early would require mentioning his daughter, which would require mentioning his dead wife, which would probably put a stop to the whole conversation. Outwardly, he teases her, "You were here before me."

"I'm staying here," she retorts easily. He gets the feeling that she's the kind of woman you can never win an argument against; she'll always have some defense or attack ready to whip out and catch you off guard.

"That _would _explain it then," he laughs. She may be impossible to win an argument against, but he can match her stride for stride. She laughs too, and they smile at each other.

"Daddy, look!" Lily says, running up, her hair done in braids. Her braids are fastened with two hair ties with bells attached. Alex has a sinking feeling those hair ties are going to make their reappearance when he has a migraine.

"You look pretty," he comments.

Lily looks at Addison. "Hi, I'm Lily," she introduces herself, holding out a miniscule hand for Addison to take. "Don't worry about my Dad, sometimes he forgets his manners."

"I'm Addison," Addison replies, clearly trying to suppress a laugh.

Lily looks at the two adults, looks up, and gets a mischievous look in her eyes. She steps back. "It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too," Addison says.

"Can I tell you guys something?" Lily asks.

"Sure," both adults agree.

Lily points up to the doorframe. "You're standing under mistletoe. Auntie Meredith says that means you have to kiss. Don't worry, I don't have a mom to get mad."

_Oh my God, she really is Izzie's kid, _Alex thinks as Addison's face attempts the color of her hair. He shrugs; he's not uncomfortable kissing her, although the fact that his daughter was the one to make it happen is a little weird. Addison takes her cue from him and leans in to kiss him quickly on the lips. They hold eye contact for a couple seconds, just smiling.

"Addison?" Meredith calls.

Addison shakes off the spell. "Yeah?" she calls back.

"Can you come help me in the kitchen? I need help putting things on plates."

"Sure," Addison replies, "I'll be right there." She turns to Alex and Lily. "It was nice to meet both of you. I'm sure I'll talk to you later," she says, with a confidence that says she doesn't really believe a word of her last sentence.

When she disappears from sight, Lily nudges him. "She's really pretty. I like her."

0ooo0

Dinner is when Alex first starts to get suspicious that Meredith and Derek may have more than New Year festivities planned for the night. Out of the thirty people at the part, he's seated next to Addison at the table. They converse quietly while the rest of the room roars with conversation. They don't have much to say to each other, but neither one is bored.

If Alex were paying more attention, he would see Meredith look at him and Addison, then at Lily, and wink. If he were paying more attention, he would see Lily start to grin. But he's not paying attention, because he and Addison have just started to argue whether Christmas would be better spent in the mountains or the beach.

"Why would anyone want to spend Christmas somewhere they're going to get snowed in without power?" Addison questions him.

"What about a white Christmas and all that crap?" he replies. "I might not like Christmas, but people do, and I don't see a lot snow at the beach."

"Who needs snow when you have sun?"

"So you'd rather spend Christmas day on the beach instead of inside with your family?" he asks, feeling rather smug that he's managed to find a tiny hole in her logic.

She looks down. "I don't have family. Derek and Meredith are pretty much it," she says quietly.

He feels awful and tries to find a way to lighten the mood. After an acceptable awkward silence, he says, "And they haven't asked you for Christmas before? Jesus, Shepherd's even more of an ass than I thought."

She laughs. "I've been on the beach for the past couple years," she retorts.

0ooo0

He very studiously tries to avoid her as midnight draws nearer. Not that he would mind kissing her again, but he's kissed her once already tonight and that's enough for the night. No need to give people ideas. Besides, she's practically a stranger.

Midnight passes without incident. He stays for a half an hour longer, trying to make his way politely out the door. He finds Lily passed out in Meredith's little girls' room. Gathering her up carefully, he carries her to the front door. Addison is standing near the door. "It was nice meeting you," she says. He nods and carries Lily out to the car.

0ooo0

"Do you want to come in?" Meredith offers. He's just dropping Lily off for Morgan's birthday party and he hadn't really planned on spending time there, although in the back of his mind, he knew Meredith would ask. Meredith puts on her stubborn face and he sighs in resignation, crossing the threshold.

He had expected a bunch of screaming girls and some paper decorations. So imagine his surprise when he sees Addison standing amidst the girls. It's January 18th, so he supposes it's plausible that she's still staying with the Shepherds, but three weeks seems like a really long time to tolerate the chaos.

"Did I forget to mention that Addison just moved here?" Meredith asks innocently. "Because she did. She's staying with us until she can find a place of her own."

Addison smiles her greeting, then sits cross-legged on the floor, clearly resigned to the fact that ten seven year olds are going to attempt to do her make up. He has to smile; she's so sophisticated that the image of her allowing her eye shadow to be done in two different colors is ridiculous. He watches as she giggles along with the girls, and he's surprised to find himself thinking that she looks even more beautiful than she did at the party. He hadn't even thought he had noticed that she was beautiful at New Year's.

Meredith eventually distracts the girls with the promise of party games, cake, and ice cream. Addison slowly raises herself off the floor. There's surprise in her eyes when she sees he's still standing there. "Hi," she says.

"Hey."

"Um," she replies, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "I, um, I need to wash my face."

"Right."

She looks even more surprised when she returns to find him still standing there. "Are you stalking me, Karev?" she jokes, eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"Just nice to talk to someone with two digits in their age," he replies easily.

Silence settles over them. "Meredith filled me in about your wife," she blurts. "I'm so sorry."

"Yeah, well," he replies with a shrug. He's used to this kind of response by now. He's gotten used to the dull ache, so it doesn't seem like that big of a deal anymore.

"Meredith says that by all accounts she was a great person."

"She was."

"I'm sorry," she says. Usually he would roll his eyes and walk away; this reaction is just so cliché. But her eyes back up her words—she actually is sorry. She reaches out to touch his arm. They both yank back in surprise at the pleasant tingling sensation that shoots through their bodies from the contact. "I, uh, I should help Meredith cut the cake," she says quickly.

0ooo0

Fourth of July. He's seen Addison a couple of times since Morgan's birthday party, and each time he's been surprised at just how attracted he is to her. It's so natural to him that he doesn't even realize it until they end up talking and brushing hands. He didn't even have such a strong reaction to Izzie's touch.

As Lily runs through the sprinklers at the Shepherd's Addison approaches wearing and white t-shirt and jean shorts. With her red hair, he's sure he's never seen anyone look so sexy in the nation's colors.

"Hey," she says easily. It's gotten to the point where they seek each other out at these events.

"Hey," he replies. Meredith comes out the door, announcing that lunch is served. All the kids run inside. Addison grins as the last one slams through the door. Her eyes take on a mischievous glint as her fingers find the bottom of her t-shirt. Quicker than he can blink, the shirt is lying on the grass, revealing a red bikini top and her incredibly flat stomach. Her shorts receive the same treatment, and he tries to ignore the miles of legs the woman seems to possess. She quirks an eyebrow.

"It's hot," she explains. He certainly agrees. "I'm going to run through the sprinklers. You coming?"

He has a feeling she knows exactly what she's doing; in fact, he has a feeling that she does this rather often and has never been shot down before. "Nah, I'm good," he replies. The look on her face is priceless—she doesn't know how to respond to a refusal.

"Suit yourself," she finally manages to shrug. She starts to walk away, and that's when he notices the hose resting carelessly about a foot from him. He picks it up, walks to the spigot and turns it on. "Hey, Addison," he calls.

She turns around to be doused with water. Her jaw drops in amazement. "You… you got me wet!" she exclaims.

He smirks and it takes all of his will power not to murmur "That's what she said."

"Jerk!" she cries. When she makes a move for the hose, he douses her again. "Stop it!" she laughs.

"You're the one who wanted to get wet," he points out.

"Yeah, but not soaking!" She tries to move out of the hose's spray, but he just moves closer. She starts running away and he starts chasing her. "Stop it!" She can hardly run because she's laughing so hard.

Then, she gets an idea. She shields her face and runs toward him. "Give me that," she demands, trying to wrestle the hose from his grasp. He keeps a firm grip, and the ensuing struggle manages to drench them both. He's suddenly aware that their epic battle for the hose has left only a couple inches between their faces. And then he gets an idea. It's probably not the most thought out idea, but he thinks it's a pretty damn good one. He leans in and kisses her. She drops the hose to wrap her arms around his neck. Unfortunately for his victory in the Hose War of 2009, he drops it too, in order to pull her closer.

If either of them were paying any attention to the house, they would notice Meredith close the curtain with a grin.

Finally, they pull back for air. She seems about to say something, most likely along the lines of that wasn't a good idea, to which he would agree almost wholeheartedly. Then she changes her mind. Even more quickly than she had pulled off her shirt, she bends down, grabs the hose and drenches him from head to toe in water. "Revenge," she explains simply. The smirk on her face convinces him of two things: one is that this is a woman Izzie would approve of and the other is that he is absolutely interested in pursuing her. After all, Izzie would never want him lonely for the rest of his life.

She turns the water off and turns to find a towel. He grabs her arm, spins her around and kisses her again. She's breathing rather heavily when they part. "Revenge," he explains simply. Her jaw drops, but then she grins and leans in to kiss him yet again.

0ooo0

In September, he had broken it off with her. It wasn't that he didn't feel anything for her. Actually, it was the exact opposite. He felt himself falling right towards love and he wasn't ready for that yet. He had given her some bullshit excuse about Lily and the first day of school and reminders of Izzie. She had taken it hook, line, and sinker.

By October, they're talking again. Not in any sort of romantic way, but they miss each other. Addison accepts that there's something holding him back, and they resolve that they're better off as just friends.

Lily spends Halloween with Morgan and the Shepherds. Around eight, his doorbell rings. He opens it to find Addison smiling. "Trick or treat," she says. She holds up about five movies. "I brought bad horror movies."

They sit on the couch, enjoying popcorn and cheesy special effects. By the time they're watching the second one, she's tucked her feet underneath her and is resting her head against his chest. Both keep telling themselves that this is perfectly acceptable friendly behavior. She looks up to see if she's laughing at the same part she is, and they make eye contact. He dips his head to kiss her, and she responds eagerly. "Wait," she says, pulling back. "I can't… I can't do this if it's going to turn out like last time," she admits. "It hurt too much."

One look at her, with eyes filled with hope and trepidation, is enough to convince him that he's ready. "It won't," he promises. And he kisses her to seal the deal. Once again, she responds eagerly.

"What time will Lily be home?" she asks between kisses.

"Tomorrow morning," he grins, scooping her up. She wraps her arms around his waist and continues to kiss him as he carries her to the bedroom.

0ooo0

Lily's birthday is November 5, and he invites Addison to celebrate with them on that day. It's the first time Addison has done anything with him and Addison exclusively. "Addison!" Lily exclaims happily. Addison has been endeared to Lily ever since Morgan's birthday party.

"Hey, Lily," Addison says shyly as Lily hugs her. She looks over to Alex. He grins. Clearly Lily reacting badly isn't going to be an issue.

They go out to dinner at the restaurant of Lily's choosing, then go get ice cream (Alex doesn't bake. Neither does Addison). Upon returning to the house, both Addison and Alex present her with gifts. Lily opens Addison's first. She squeals with delight when she sees the movies _Mary Poppins_, _Bedknobs and Broomsticks_, and _Chitty Chitty Bang Bang_. "They're my favorite Disney movies," Addison explains sheepishly.

Alex smiles at her and by the time they regain awareness of the surrounding room, Lily is in the middle of opening her father's present. The box reveals a doll with red hair and blue eyes. "This is _exactly _the one I wanted!" Lily declares excitedly. Alex shrugs as he sees Addison notice the similarities between the doll and herself. He can see that she feels utterly flattered and a little embarrassed. "Her name is Felicity," Lily declares.

"That's a really pretty name," Addison comments.

Lily flings herself into Addison's arms. "Thank you for the movies. Do you think we could watch one now?" she says in one breath.

"You'd have to ask your dad," Addison laughs.

Big brown eyes turn on him. "Please, Daddy?"

"One," he replies. She instantly unwraps _Mary Poppins _and pops it in the DVD player.

Addison and Alex sit next to each other. Lily stands in front of them, debating internally, and then sits next to Addison. Addison tries to keep a goofy grin off her face and fails.

0ooo0

Thanksgiving is the first holiday they officially spend all day together as a couple. Though the beginning is punctuated with bickering that never fails to accompany them wherever they go, by the time dinner rolls around, they've mellowed out. Meredith grins at the two of them knowingly. She nudges Derek. "I told you that New Year's thing was a good idea," she says.

"Uh huh," Derek says, utterly uninterested in the sex life of his best friend from med school.

As they serve the food, they go around the table and say what they're interested in. Sarah—Meredith and Derek's middle child—says food, Morgan says Disney movies, Meredith says everything (she never has been too good at being decisive), Derek jokes about being thankful for good fishing weather, and Alex jokes about his team winning the football game. Addison says she's thankful for family. Lily goes last. With a perfectly straight face, that is just about to start blushing, she whispers, "Addison."

It takes all of Addison's will power not to start crying. She hugs the little girl and then serves her mashed potatoes.

0ooo0

Christmas rolls around again before they have time to breathe. Lily starts to make her Christmas list. Addison begins to help him decorate the house. Nobody says anything about the fact that her clothes are currently taking up more than half his closet space. And nobody says anything when a picture from Thanksgiving makes it way onto the mantle, mixing in with various school photos, baby pictures, and family pictures, both before and after Izzie's death.

"Daddy," Lily says, studying the mantle one day. "Don't you think Addison should have a stocking too?"

"I think you'd have to ask her if she wants one," Alex replies.

"Addison?" Lily calls.

"Yeah?" Addison yells back from the bathroom where she's drying her hair.

"Do you want a stocking?"

There's a clatter as something drops to the floor and they hear Addison curse, "Ow! Damn it!" Then she comes into the family room. "Sorry, what?" she asks.

"Do you want a stocking?"

Addison looks at Alex. He nods. "I'd love a stocking," she replies.

Later that night, she and Alex are sitting in the living room, waiting for Lily to finish getting ready for bed. "Are you sure you're okay with this?" she asks, gesturing at the fireplace where three stockings—one brand new and handmade—now hang.

"Would it be there if I wasn't?" he retorts. She rolls her eyes. The mood then gets serious as they realize that something big is about to happen. "You know, you could just…" he says nervously.

She thinks she knows what he's trying to say, but she doesn't want to respond to find out he wasn't asking. "I could what?"

"Do you just want to…" he trails off again. She stares at him, waiting for the whole question. "I think I'm asking you to move in," he finally gets out. Her eyes light up as she realizes that she could have answered back at the first stammer.

"Would Lily be okay with it?" she asks.

"Lily idolizes you, in case you haven't noticed," he points out.

She smiles. "I'd love to."

Lily comes waltzing in with a piece of paper. "This is my Christmas list," she tells them, handing it to her father gravely. "I'm going to sleep."

Once she's exited, Alex looks down at the lists and his jaw nearly drops. There are three items on the list. Not one of them is "a new mommy".

"I'm going to go tuck her in," he says, clearing his throat. Addison nods, oblivious to the rip in the time-space continuum. He knocks and she says to come in. Lily's just climbing into bed.

"Hi, Daddy," she says.

"Um," he says, trying to figure out how to word it. "Your list is shorter than usual."

"Well, duh," she replies. "Why would I need _two _new mommies? That would just be plain wasteful! Addison's good enough for me, thanks. And she's good enough for you too."

He gives his daughter a lopsided grin. "Glad to know you approve," he says, kissing her cheek. "Get some sleep."

"That's what I was trying to do before you came in," she laughs.

He grins and turns out the light. "Goodnight, Lily."

"Night, Daddy. Tell Addison I say goodnight to her too."

* * *

**Yes, that is a whole year in a oneshot. And you thought I didn't need those 4,000 words...**

**So remember, go check out LGCoffeeAddict's stories, but before you do that, I feel that pressing the button below this and leaving me a review would be an absolutely wonderful Christmas present.**

**-Juli-**


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